I had to kick him out of my life. It has been killing me inside. I miss him so much. I cry even as I type this and know I can not do anything about it. I pray hard that it was for the better. And I hope even moreso that he may decide he wants me back. But I know he will not. He did not want a relationship. He wanted a shadow. Someone there for him always but only when he wanted. I can't give him what he wanted. He won't give me what I want. Our relationship was going nowhere and fast. I hope some day I can look back on this and not cry anymore. But that will be a long time. I feel that this pain will more than likely follow me into my next life. Sure I may move on and find someone "better". Find someone to give what is left of me to. But thinking about Him will always, always hurt. And he hopes to still be friends. Moron. Doesn't even know what this is doing to me. Not a single clue.